Begin Again

I am back. I am just checking in right now to say that I will be back this afternoon with a full blog entry. I am going to use this space to be honest about my Binge Eating recovery process. I am supposed to journal, and I feel like I want to be as open as possible about this, so I will journal here. My posts won't just be related to BED, I will also share random tidbits about life in general as well as training for endurance events.

See ya soon.

xo-Gina

Damn, remembering to log in and blog is a bitch. I don't mind logging in and stalking others, but putting my own thoughts down on a regular basis is tough.

I haven't been training much the past few days. Been busy with getting myself centered and getting things set for this seasons Team In Training Kickoff. Yesterday was my chapters Kickoff and it was great. It was my first time on the other side being a mentor and TNT staff. I think everything went off without a hitch. I met most of my participants and I think everyone seems eager and excited to be part of the team.

Tonight I intend to hit the treadmill for about an hour. I hope to get 4 miles in at a good pace. Ohh, that reminds me, I promised to get Apryl the TNT training calendar for runners. She's still considering the RNRSD Marathon.

I am off. I should log back in with the results of tonights run at some point before bed.

Motivation

I am trying to gather the motivation to get out of my jeans and into some workout clothes and hit the treadmill. I keep yawning. I am a very tired lady, but I need to get out there and get a jump start on my training.

Paul is reminding me though that Lost is on tonight. I need to be done by 10pm so I can watch it and pass through the commercials.

My ass hurts

After not exercising for a while those gluts sure tighten up after a few workouts. I am only going to be brief so that I keep up with this blog. It's late and I need a shower. Bad.

Other things I noticed while working out tonight:

• I am always in a race against someone
• I need at least two miles to warm up before getting in my groove
• There is a fucking smores box that is staring at me when I run on the treadmill
• I need to pee before starting a workout
• Bodyglide is a beautiful thing, sadly I forgot it tonight
• I have a love/hate relationship with running
  
• Ministry KICKS ASS!!!

GOAL: 4 miles and ab exercises
REALITY: 4.01 miles and ab exercises

This ain't no competition!

I have this bad habit of thinking all or nothing about everything in life. I blame that train of thought for many of my missteps in my life. A perfect example is today's work out. I pulled out my Nike+ and plugged it in just to take if for a test drive to ensure it was still working. The little sensor is something that stops working after so a while and needs to be replaced. Since it had been several months since I used it (Team And Training won't allow you to use an iPod while working out with them, it's a safety thing) I had to make sure it worked.

It worked fine but I wanted to test it out on the treadmill and so I hopped on and then got some sort of strange need to run. As I increased my speed I was feeling pretty jazzed because it's really been a while since I put much effort into working out. And then I hit a wall. Three minutes into my work out a big brick wall (also known as my ex-smokers lungs) flew up in front of me and threw off my stride. I picked myself up but the whole while I was thinking, "Screw this, I am not about to post this lame excuse for an exercise on my blog."

Before I knew it my lungs were back to normal and I felt the urge to push myself again. I pushed and ran until that freakin' wall stopped me again. This time it was the wall of shame. "Who are you kidding? You are not a runner, just give up and walk the rest of the way, and then tell everyone you were just giving the Nike+ a test drive." OMG. Just because my milage is not what it used to be, and my pace is slow for the short distance I went I want to come up with excuses. Because I am not as perfect as I expect myself to be.

GUESS WHAT!!! I am not perfect! You hear that Gina, you're not perfect! Be happy you got off your ass today and even ran at all!!!!!!! My fitness goal for today is actually to do a pilates dvd I have. I still have time as the day is young.

Flowing Black Water, Crepe Paper Sun

The title is just the first line of a song that has been stuck in my head for a week. The band is Three Merry Widows, if you can find them anywhere, listen to them. They were around in '92 and they were not exactly a big name, little name...or really much of anything. Just a band that I adore.

OK, where was I going to go with this post today?

First, I need to post a picture of my water fanny pack for Jenn. It's the Nathan Elite 1 Plus Water Bottle Carrier. I LOVE IT. I have my water, my sports drink, and a spot for a tasty treat. It's not as bulky as some of the water fanny packs I have seen. Here's what it looks like:

I realize I should probably post what it looks like while I am wearing it, but really, let's be real. It's hideous. Do I dare share? Please forgive me for what you are about to see:


Oh, Blogger was nice. It made the picture much smaller then I anticipated. What you can't really see here is that my pants are slipping down, my shirt has ridden up and my back fat is exposed. :) This is what happens to you as you are about to cross the finish line next to some bitch half your size not sporting a water fanny pack. It's also what happens after 26.1 miles. You just don't care anymore.

On that note, this picture is a reminder that I am not going to make the same mistakes I made last go around. This time I am going to eat normal. I am not going to look at my calories burned as a reason to eat the entire pie. Did I mention I am doing this again? This time I am only going for a 1/2 marathon, but I am still training for a freakin' 1/2 marathon! There's not a lot of people who can say they have done that. This season I am a mentor for Team In Training. It will be a new perspective for me. As a mentor the training isn't all about me. I am here to support my mentees. I am also excited to have Jenn and her friend Danelle joining me with Team and Training as well. We are going to be doing the Rock 'N Roll San Diego Marathon. As a member of Team In Training we will have the option of completing the half marathon. It's one of the perks. I believe Apryl will be joining us at the event as well, but for the full marathon. Over the next several months we will all be blogging about the progress of our training (and sometimes the lack of progress).

So, away we go. I will be back more often I hope. I just needed to reevaluate what I need and want from this blog. I think I know now.

Fun in the am

This morning I went for a walk with my friend. It was a brisk 31/2 mile walk. Felt good, but it's clear the hills beat me up. I was trying my best to not pant and gasp, but it didn't matter. At the top of each of the three hills I was out of breath and ready to head home. Lame. So I need to make an effort to hit hills more often. I hate feeling winded.

Last night was a good night. My friend Jen and her kids came over and they played while Jen and I played some World of Warcraft. We also ate. A lot. But I have been very good about everything recently, so I enjoyed my food. And I didn't really over do it like I could have. I had one serving of rice and one piece of naan. That's a huge step in the right direction for me.

Anyway, just thought I would post this to start my day. It's going to be a good day.